Its been far to long!

So I just decided tonight that I haven't written anything in over a year. I actually miss it because It was an outlet that I was using to express myself and to let people know how I was doing. I am going to try and be more consistent about it and write every two weeks. So keep on me if you are actually reading this. So what is my life like right now?? Well i am still at Nyack and will be a senior next semester which is very exciting....one more year. I just can wait for the next stage in my life. I feel as though I am ready to give the adult arena a go, and I just want to take a break from the school aspect. So what will I do when i graduate? I really dont have plans and it doesnt seem to bother me much either. A lot of people get so stressed out about what they are going to do after college and wondering if they going to find a job. But im not worried what so ever. I dont even know what I want to do. I feel as my passion for youth is once again rekindled. SO i know I want to do something with that even if its just youth staff. But other than that I have no clue and it doesnt matter to me one bit. I guess ill just keep praying about it and see what happens but whatever it is I know for sure it is going to be fun!! More to come!

The Generation That Needs to Wake Up!

So this past weekend I went to battlecry in Ny with my beloved youth group. It turned out to be an awesome experience even though I was a little cranky due to lack of sleep that whole week. But God showed up anyway even if at the time I didnt realize it. I got home from the conference Saturday night and was exhausted but I still went to church the next morning. Any way so that day on Sunday I was thinking of what I heard at the conference and my generation was put on my heart. I feel that this generation is apathetic to Gods calling for it. I was talking to my cousin and matt about it and was getting fired up. Any way that night I went to sleep real early because I was exhausted. I woke up at 1230 and my heart felt burdened to pray so I did. I got a picture in my head of a person figure in a hospital bed and two figures were in the room and one was a dark figure and one was a light figure. Anyway the person on the bed was on life support and the dark figure was about to pull the plug and The light figure said "stop you dont have authority to do that stop" The dark figure pulled away. I think what this represented was my generation on life support and the enemy wants to pull the plug. But God said no you have no authority. So I began to pray for our generation and I feel so burdened that our generation has to wake up and get away from our apathetic ways. Wake up o sleeper. Wake up o sleeper. Wake up o sleeper.....

Inmortality vs. Bobby Nisbet

...............So how do you win?? Is there really a fountain of youth or is it just a facade. Will I live for eternity or will I die and go in a state of nothingness? How do I answer this question? WHAT DO I BELIEVE? That is the question that really matters and that question answers all the previous ones. What have I been told all my life? Ive been told that if you do the right things and have a relationship with god you will have an everlasting life. How do you know this is true and its just not made up? I guess what it really comes down to is FAITH..... do I have enough faith? How do you know you truly believe? These are the questions that so many people have. I get frustrated because I question so much on a sunday morning. Do these people jumping around really feel something or are they doing it to fit in. I think some of these frustrations Im having as of now stem from my past and my acting. I at one time in my life was a professional actor. I would hang out with friends and be the best drinker I could be. I would go to church and be the best christian I could be. Some people used to tell me a bad seed could rot an apple and to this day I completely believe it is so true. When I was between the ages of 14 and 18 I was on fire for god. My heart was completely for him. I wish it could of stayed that way....Needless to say that bad apple analogy caught up to me and I was introduced to alcohol and weed. I didnt smoke or drink a lot but what comes with it, the cursing, the crude jokes, the porn all ate away at my relationship with my god that I loved so much. From that point in time till I was 22 I struggled with all those things. I partied hard, I flunked out of nacc, I smoked weed, I got kicked out of my house. So those four years I look back and think of what I could of achieved if I would of picked better friends. During those four painful years of bitterness, pride, stubbornness, and all that nasty stuff I also took on the fear of failure. Im am scared to death of failure even though I felt my life was a failure. The only thing that I really held on to that was a success in my life was Wegmans but as it turns out now it meant nothing. So at the time I felt like I couldnt get into school anywhere so I was just going to finish at nacc and start full time at wegmans. Until one day that I will never forget for the first time in four years I let my pride down humbled myself and listened to my father and applied to go away to school. That was the first step in the process of coming back to god. I went out to visit the school and I was playing a awaken the dawn mix that mike d. made me, and the one song really spoke to me and I prayed about it(first time I actually prayed for a long time) I felt thats were god wanted me. So then I just asked god to open the doors if thats where he wanted me. So at this point I was still questionable on weather I still wanted to go or not. So a couple weeks into it I got accepted and my dad said Im going. I listened because it was either that or getting a golf club to the back of the head. So after being at Nyack for a while a lot of my bad habits have changed and I can actually feel god speaking to me....Dont get me wrong it was nothing like it was when I was fourteen but Its like a new start and Im going to take it a run with it. So I guess I should answer the question that I started with and it was do I have FAITH?? The answer is YES!!!

College

So i decided its not that bad....in fact it is getting better. Im meeting new people and its going well. I remember when I heard people say "god will put you in uncomfortable situations to make you grow", I found that its completely true and trust me when I say it is hard but its for the best. So right now the only complaint I have is the cleanliness of the room but im going to try to change that around. What else that is really interesting is that I actually read books now... I just finished this finance book and I think I just realized how to manage my money and its really not that hard. Its all about Baby Steps......Baby Steps are key. Its funny after realizing how to deal with my finances I get hit with a pretty big car bill. It makes me think that Im on the right track because the enemy is trying to throw road blocks in front of me hinder me. But i refuse to use credit cards. No more debt.... So far school is teaching me about life and myself. So far so good.... More to come.

There is nothing else to do.

So going away to college isnt the funnest of things. To tell you the truth it sucks. Im in my room doing nothing because I have no friends. I decided that this is the case because I am new and it takes time. But how much time does this really take? Its hard to make friends here cuz it is such a small college and everyone knows everyone. Its very click oriented. Like today I went to eat lunch and I sat down at a table were someone had placed their things. They came up to the table and moved their things to the next table. So I continued to eat lunch by myself. Then in chapel I sat by myself. Then in class I sat by myself. Its very depressing coming from a place where I have so many friends to a place where I dont know anyone. So if your wondering yes I hate it.........

Christmas with the Nisbets!!

So this year seemed like it was going to be a bah humbug year considering the economy and the fact that I couldn't afford presents because of going away to school. But this year was as eventful as last year and maybe more. So the weekend before Christmas the family became united both my sisters came home and my grams came down for the week. When my Grams is in the house I feel like I have to be pure because my mouth sometime gets the best of me. Also I feel like she thinks we are spoiled brats because my sisters start fights and It makes me look bad. My sisters were their colorful vibrant self's, I think they get off on trying to debate different sensitive topics with my mom. It gets rather annoying. Jamie talking about animal rights and Jackie starts talking about some sort of injustice that many would not consider an injustice. What side do I take??? I usually don't take sides....I just ask them if they know when to stop talking.... They never realize that if they just wouldn't say anything it would be a better time. No one wants to hear there rants on different topics. Especially Jamie and her animals rights. I EAT BEEF and Im proud to say it. Eating beef is like being an American its the right thing to do. So my sisters would say that my Blog is a fraud and that this stuff doesn't happen. They just dont realize it happens because there blind to the fact that they talk to much. More to come......

The Countdown Continues.....

42 days left...... In 42 days a lot can happen. I could meet the girl of my dreams(not going to happen), I could throw someone out of the club, I could have an amazing Christmas, I could drink way to much hot chocolate and be sick for a couple of days, I could dress up as Santa and ask all the little ones what there selfish beings want for Christmas....... There is a lot I could do. But I think the most important is to cherish the times with My friends and Family.( I'm making it seem like I'm going away forever and being a little to dramatic haha.) But I never have gone away its somewhat relieving and somewhat exciting. I know ill be fine I have a great personality and Ill fit right in. I would just have to tone some of my jokes down a little until i feel comfortable. I'm a little sad because I'm leaving Bethlehem During a war. The war of the pranks. I mean, don't get me wrong after I leave ill be untouchable and the kids will be upset with this fact because the revenge they had in store for me is out of reach. I plan on making them cry. Also a cool little fact is I could come home whenever and they would never know who got them. They don't understand time is on me and mikes side. They might have one the battle but the war is ours hahaha. So enough of that.... The most exciting part for me is that I wont ever have to walk into NCC ever again. After being there for so long you become a mummy and just walk the daily walk and it really causes life to be extremely boring and apathetic. Basically when I was there I felt like I was walking in a dessert and the end was no where in sight. I just continued to walk...walk...and walk. I know that I was the creator of my own problems but it was just impossible for me to get out.God only knows how I got into Nyack. Its a starting over point for me and I am going to grab it by the horns and overcome the new challenge in my life. More to come.......