Inmortality vs. Bobby Nisbet

...............So how do you win?? Is there really a fountain of youth or is it just a facade. Will I live for eternity or will I die and go in a state of nothingness? How do I answer this question? WHAT DO I BELIEVE? That is the question that really matters and that question answers all the previous ones. What have I been told all my life? Ive been told that if you do the right things and have a relationship with god you will have an everlasting life. How do you know this is true and its just not made up? I guess what it really comes down to is FAITH..... do I have enough faith? How do you know you truly believe? These are the questions that so many people have. I get frustrated because I question so much on a sunday morning. Do these people jumping around really feel something or are they doing it to fit in. I think some of these frustrations Im having as of now stem from my past and my acting. I at one time in my life was a professional actor. I would hang out with friends and be the best drinker I could be. I would go to church and be the best christian I could be. Some people used to tell me a bad seed could rot an apple and to this day I completely believe it is so true. When I was between the ages of 14 and 18 I was on fire for god. My heart was completely for him. I wish it could of stayed that way....Needless to say that bad apple analogy caught up to me and I was introduced to alcohol and weed. I didnt smoke or drink a lot but what comes with it, the cursing, the crude jokes, the porn all ate away at my relationship with my god that I loved so much. From that point in time till I was 22 I struggled with all those things. I partied hard, I flunked out of nacc, I smoked weed, I got kicked out of my house. So those four years I look back and think of what I could of achieved if I would of picked better friends. During those four painful years of bitterness, pride, stubbornness, and all that nasty stuff I also took on the fear of failure. Im am scared to death of failure even though I felt my life was a failure. The only thing that I really held on to that was a success in my life was Wegmans but as it turns out now it meant nothing. So at the time I felt like I couldnt get into school anywhere so I was just going to finish at nacc and start full time at wegmans. Until one day that I will never forget for the first time in four years I let my pride down humbled myself and listened to my father and applied to go away to school. That was the first step in the process of coming back to god. I went out to visit the school and I was playing a awaken the dawn mix that mike d. made me, and the one song really spoke to me and I prayed about it(first time I actually prayed for a long time) I felt thats were god wanted me. So then I just asked god to open the doors if thats where he wanted me. So at this point I was still questionable on weather I still wanted to go or not. So a couple weeks into it I got accepted and my dad said Im going. I listened because it was either that or getting a golf club to the back of the head. So after being at Nyack for a while a lot of my bad habits have changed and I can actually feel god speaking to me....Dont get me wrong it was nothing like it was when I was fourteen but Its like a new start and Im going to take it a run with it. So I guess I should answer the question that I started with and it was do I have FAITH?? The answer is YES!!!