The Generation That Needs to Wake Up!

So this past weekend I went to battlecry in Ny with my beloved youth group. It turned out to be an awesome experience even though I was a little cranky due to lack of sleep that whole week. But God showed up anyway even if at the time I didnt realize it. I got home from the conference Saturday night and was exhausted but I still went to church the next morning. Any way so that day on Sunday I was thinking of what I heard at the conference and my generation was put on my heart. I feel that this generation is apathetic to Gods calling for it. I was talking to my cousin and matt about it and was getting fired up. Any way that night I went to sleep real early because I was exhausted. I woke up at 1230 and my heart felt burdened to pray so I did. I got a picture in my head of a person figure in a hospital bed and two figures were in the room and one was a dark figure and one was a light figure. Anyway the person on the bed was on life support and the dark figure was about to pull the plug and The light figure said "stop you dont have authority to do that stop" The dark figure pulled away. I think what this represented was my generation on life support and the enemy wants to pull the plug. But God said no you have no authority. So I began to pray for our generation and I feel so burdened that our generation has to wake up and get away from our apathetic ways. Wake up o sleeper. Wake up o sleeper. Wake up o sleeper.....

Inmortality vs. Bobby Nisbet

...............So how do you win?? Is there really a fountain of youth or is it just a facade. Will I live for eternity or will I die and go in a state of nothingness? How do I answer this question? WHAT DO I BELIEVE? That is the question that really matters and that question answers all the previous ones. What have I been told all my life? Ive been told that if you do the right things and have a relationship with god you will have an everlasting life. How do you know this is true and its just not made up? I guess what it really comes down to is FAITH..... do I have enough faith? How do you know you truly believe? These are the questions that so many people have. I get frustrated because I question so much on a sunday morning. Do these people jumping around really feel something or are they doing it to fit in. I think some of these frustrations Im having as of now stem from my past and my acting. I at one time in my life was a professional actor. I would hang out with friends and be the best drinker I could be. I would go to church and be the best christian I could be. Some people used to tell me a bad seed could rot an apple and to this day I completely believe it is so true. When I was between the ages of 14 and 18 I was on fire for god. My heart was completely for him. I wish it could of stayed that way....Needless to say that bad apple analogy caught up to me and I was introduced to alcohol and weed. I didnt smoke or drink a lot but what comes with it, the cursing, the crude jokes, the porn all ate away at my relationship with my god that I loved so much. From that point in time till I was 22 I struggled with all those things. I partied hard, I flunked out of nacc, I smoked weed, I got kicked out of my house. So those four years I look back and think of what I could of achieved if I would of picked better friends. During those four painful years of bitterness, pride, stubbornness, and all that nasty stuff I also took on the fear of failure. Im am scared to death of failure even though I felt my life was a failure. The only thing that I really held on to that was a success in my life was Wegmans but as it turns out now it meant nothing. So at the time I felt like I couldnt get into school anywhere so I was just going to finish at nacc and start full time at wegmans. Until one day that I will never forget for the first time in four years I let my pride down humbled myself and listened to my father and applied to go away to school. That was the first step in the process of coming back to god. I went out to visit the school and I was playing a awaken the dawn mix that mike d. made me, and the one song really spoke to me and I prayed about it(first time I actually prayed for a long time) I felt thats were god wanted me. So then I just asked god to open the doors if thats where he wanted me. So at this point I was still questionable on weather I still wanted to go or not. So a couple weeks into it I got accepted and my dad said Im going. I listened because it was either that or getting a golf club to the back of the head. So after being at Nyack for a while a lot of my bad habits have changed and I can actually feel god speaking to me....Dont get me wrong it was nothing like it was when I was fourteen but Its like a new start and Im going to take it a run with it. So I guess I should answer the question that I started with and it was do I have FAITH?? The answer is YES!!!

College

So i decided its not that bad....in fact it is getting better. Im meeting new people and its going well. I remember when I heard people say "god will put you in uncomfortable situations to make you grow", I found that its completely true and trust me when I say it is hard but its for the best. So right now the only complaint I have is the cleanliness of the room but im going to try to change that around. What else that is really interesting is that I actually read books now... I just finished this finance book and I think I just realized how to manage my money and its really not that hard. Its all about Baby Steps......Baby Steps are key. Its funny after realizing how to deal with my finances I get hit with a pretty big car bill. It makes me think that Im on the right track because the enemy is trying to throw road blocks in front of me hinder me. But i refuse to use credit cards. No more debt.... So far school is teaching me about life and myself. So far so good.... More to come.

There is nothing else to do.

So going away to college isnt the funnest of things. To tell you the truth it sucks. Im in my room doing nothing because I have no friends. I decided that this is the case because I am new and it takes time. But how much time does this really take? Its hard to make friends here cuz it is such a small college and everyone knows everyone. Its very click oriented. Like today I went to eat lunch and I sat down at a table were someone had placed their things. They came up to the table and moved their things to the next table. So I continued to eat lunch by myself. Then in chapel I sat by myself. Then in class I sat by myself. Its very depressing coming from a place where I have so many friends to a place where I dont know anyone. So if your wondering yes I hate it.........